Proofreading Samples

At Five Links, I was tasked with proofreading my co-writers articles. It was done based on the following principles of mine:

To-the-point

Articles should be informative. Articles are not books. Articles should not go around in circles, hiding critical information under a pile of unnecessary details.

Simplicity

Language should be simple, so it's readable to most readers. This isn't a language test.

Appropriate Emphasis

There are ways to increase/decrease emphasis, and using a variety of them where needed be makes the writing clearer, more beautifully sounding.

Information > Word Count

Doing the opposite wins the search engine, but loses the audience. Of course, it's best to meet both ideals halfway, and I've always tried my best. For example, instead of using words to lengthen the articles, I add relevant ideas that may be of interest to readers.

Take this paragraph, for instance, comparing the performances of two machines :

"The Hamilton did earn a small victory in toasting bread, though, and the score was quite impressive. We believe the Oster could’ve scored higher if its toast presets were designed with better toasting time."

By using an expression with a noun in it (earn a small victory), the writer subconsciously and unnecessarily places emphasis, which also signals readers that this emphasis is to be elaborated. That is not the case here, so a simple verb (performed better) would suffice.